Bikers Are Not Supposed To Dress Like Pam Anderson

So there I was three days before my ride, standing in my team sponsor's bike shop, wearing the jersey that dude talked me into ordering, shaking with anger and frustration because the waist of this supposed large jersey came just short of my belly button.  When I tried to zip this thing up past my small breast, it made me look like I had Pamela Anderson TATAS. While this jersey made me look smokin hot, by no means was this jersey acceptable for riding. I then tried on my Bellwether Shorts, first of all I woulda been better off wearing a maxi pad in place of my panel and the panel didn't even come up to my "girl parts",   CCCCCOOOOOMMMMEEEE OOOOOOONNNNN! It took everything in me to not start crying in frustration. So I calmly got my shit together climbed into my car and that is where I completed my tantrum.